“Am I my resume? That is a picture of a person I don’t
know.” These lyrics, from A Chorus Line, echo this transformation of the ending
of one way of being and the start of another. I have, somewhat obediently, lived
my life following conventions or struggling to rid myself of them as I
anxiously try to follow my truest nature.
Mostly, like many, I have folded my truest nature
inside while I “make it work” within the convention. Because my spirit is so
strong, she would knock consistently
at the part of myself that could allow her to unfold and stretch out for a
while. Before she was required, by
my conventional parts, to return to her spot. She quietly left me with some wisdom. Then she would willingly fold back up while I looked over the wisdom
slice and returned to the appropriate behaviors of the conventional world.
But now, she
has had enough of folding and unfolding. She
wants to express herself. She has
experiences to live, things to say and a life to create…… instead of a life of
working within the confines of convention. Those confines are too small for
her. She needs to stretch!
While she
quietly and confidently plans to lead the show now, some of my other parts are
confused by her. They feel fear, intrigue, denial, a sense of adventure,
restless, excited but mostly anxious.
She
whispers stick with me and have faith.
Let’s see where she
takes us…….
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